At this moment

I feel so weak

So stupid

So fukin useless

Once upon a time

I used to have control

Had the ability to say no

Could I walk away now

Am I strong enough

To go my own way

Leave all this bullshit

Behind me

I wish I could say I am

I can’t

Cuz I aint

Lost control

Lost myself

Playing a sick game

Of hide n seek

Seeking myself out

I think I hid to well

Oh no

I can’t find myself

Where’d I go

Time’s running out

I can hear the clock tickin’

I’m nowhere to be found

Where’d I go

Yelling out for my return

Refuse to stop playin

I’m like a kid

Scared of mama gettin mad

Refusin to let her punish me

Little did I kno

Here I am

Punished by myself

This game aint fun

So why won’t I stop

Allow myself to be found

Stop hiding from myself

Sounds pretty easy

So why am I still hiding

Here I am

Im done hiding

Ready to be found.

sE

Do you believe my smile

The lie it tells

It says im happy

Everythings okaii

i haven’t lost my mind

Not yet!?

 

Can you tell im wishin

i wasn’t here

that mama never had me

I won’t feel sorry for myself

Instead I’ll become my own

Number one enemy

 

Never want you feelin sorry for

me either

believe my silent lies

hate showing my true sadness

sE

The stories are this page were all written by a 17 years old youth. It got this title because when she handed me her stories to read-they were all scribbled in a notebook.

Listen hear

Don’t wanna be ignored

Im demanding some attention

Need a friend

Not looking for advice

Just listen please

Cause its to much to handle

Never really asking for much

Act like everythings all good

Times gone by n this war hasn’t ended

This fight against myself

It’s gettin harder to pretend

That im ok

Wanting nothing more

Than to truly be happy

If I told you Im not ok

Would you care

Are you to stupid to see

What im hiding from you

I need you to know

Im not okaii

Don’t think I’ll ever tell you

Just keep wishin

One day you’ll figure it out

Before it’s too late.

sE

Can’t seem to push it away

A certain memory

One I wish could be forgotten

 

The memory of you

Alive

Asleep

Dead?

 

Beside me in a deep sleep

Your body looked like a corpse

 

Your skin white as snow

cheeks sunk in deep into your face

as skinny as your skeleton would allow

 

that night I couldn’t sleep

kept checkin your pulse

making sure your heart was still beating

 

was this a warning

am I gonna lose you

 

do you wanna live

do you care

the drugs are killing you

do you care

there killing me

do you care

sE

No one understands my love

For something so sick

Causing pain to take it away

Don’t want attention

If I did I would ask for it

 

I want my mind to go blank

Feel the warmth of blood

While it falls off my skin

 

When I’m all alone

I need a friend

My best friend

My lover

My deadly little razor blade

 

Take the pain away

Every time

You’re always there for me

Unconditional love

Forever you are mine

And I am yours

Bring you with me everywhere I go.

sE

Crazy

Why are you chasing me

i just hurt you

Leave me alone

I’ll cause you pain

don’t mean to

Just protecting myself

i’m running faster

when I look back

so are you

don’t understand why

you still want me

When you should hate me

your catching up

i’m running out of breathe

My thoughts going off

non-stop

next to me now

im full of fear

holding back my tears

gotta be tough

don’t wanna show weakness

wanna beg you to leave

I m better off alone

You’ll hurt me

Like I did you

Please don’t say you love me

it’s painful

to know loving you

won’t last

nothing to gain but pain

sE